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Optimising my website for Google

Here’s something that I’ve always had trouble digesting. You know those broken English emails that miraculously appear in your inbox every day? You know the ones…

“Hi Sir, I’m Terry Miller internet Marketing Manager. Do you want see your website in Top 10 position in Google or other search engine? Do you want more targeted visitor on your website? If yes, I supply you with our best price to optimize website.”

Hmmmm…Firstly Terry Miller, if that is in fact your real name; your English is appalling. Secondly, I’m not a Sir (believe it or not!). My faith in your abilities to write copy in a manner that will make people actually want to read your articles, rather than kill themselves, is lower than low to say the least.

Finally, I don’t care for dirty spammers.

Yesterday, something very very interesting in the world of Marketing/SEO became startlingly obvious. Let’s start from the beginning…

12.56pm- I receive a word perfect email from an SEO company based in Kent with a nice enough website. I bookmark email to look into later on in the afternoon.

15.49pm- I pull out said email and begin reading (Click to view larger image)…First thoughts were; Woah woah woah Lady, we’re a savvy web design agency and this stuff is our forte- I’m not going to waste time and make the call to you ya ignorant so-and-so! Plus she reckons I can get the info in the next two seconds online! As indicated in the email, I should enter ”optimising my website for google” into a Google search to get the info I apparently need.

15.52pm- I enter ”optimising my website for google” into Google and hold my breath for this apparent PDF promised…

Well well well, It’s not even on page one of Google. An ‘SEO’ company not on page one for something they clearly state is at the end of a direct search. Fail.

What’s that I hear you cry? What actually is the first result?

Well let me tell you! – A truly fantastical blog, ousting the company as notorious spammers, proving they do not have a scooby when it comes to marketing. It is actually genius and deserving of the number one spot and the same goes to Googles number two for the same search, you need to check these out.

And the moral of the story is; SEO emails should probably be junked unless you know the company or have subscribed to their mailing list. Spamming is naughty. But as an aside; I will definitely be following the links in said emails to find more gems like this one, just for the crack!

 

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